Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Girl Ranking

Hi Bros,

years ago a really close friend and I designed a Point System to rank women. It doesn't include the mind of them because this is really personal and everybody has a different opinion what a girl should behave like are think of important things. So this is just about how they look like. And before everybody gets angry on me, I know this ist kind of sexist behavor, but this is what this post is about. So if you don't like it just shut up.

The Ranking:

0 Points: A girl you wouldn't even make out with. Not even if you are drunk as hell.

1 Point: All right, just pretend there would be enough alcohol to make you blind, this could maybe, just maybe, a hook up for you this evening. But the next morning will be a horror like wakin' up in a saw movie.

2 Points: This is actually a 1-Point-Girl but you don't have to be blind to get in her panties. Although the same amount of alcohol is needed. And you'll never tell your friends about this hooker.

To girls in this range you woulnd't even talk to without any alcohol.

3 Points: If you are on a party of your grandma and there are only friends of her, girls with 3-Points don't look pretty in this circumstance. But when your grandma sipp punch like mine and you drink with here, a 3-Point Girl could be your shot this evening. And you wouldn't wake up and want to kill yourself on the next mornin' , ... , but maybe bite your arm of.

4 Points: Welcome to the Top of the "only when I'm really drunk" contest. This girls are the ones you want to fuck when you are on a party with few chance for a good shot, but when you see them sober this feeling is gone. You mornin' would just be a little bit weird.

All right gentlemen, here comes the Points for girls you would hook up with, even if there's no alcohol around you.

5 Points: All right, not the "Top of the Pops" but for a little relaxin' hour she would do her job quite good. But actually a normal handjob by yourself will have the same effect.

6 Points: This is the kind of girl you want to find at the very end of an evening. It's not a shame and you would even tell your friends about her. But it's not somebody you would recognize out on the streets.

7 Points: You would work for girls from this point on. And you have to, bacause you are not the only guy who want to get in her pants. This girls a the so called sweeties on every party. Go for it bro, because everything better would be hard to get.

Welcome to the top 3.

8 Point: Should be a 9-Points-Girl, but something is missing ...

9 Points: This is the best you'll ever find. She looks like the women you love from TV. Smokin' hot and hard to find in your actual life. Actually I know 3 9-Point girls in my real life.

10 Point: God would be a 10-Point Girl if he would be a girl, so I would say nobody know a 10.

Extras or losses:
From 6 Points up you could increase or decrease a score with this specials.

-1 Point: not a perfect ass
-2 Points: fat ass
+1 Point: Bigger Boobs then usual for her score
+1 Point: She does EVERYTHING you want ( I'm talkin about sex if you don't get the clue)

And at the end my example of a 9-Point-Girl:

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Project

All right guys. As maybe some of you recognized I'm kind of into the style of the "How I met your mother" Series. So I gone start my new Project. I'll try all of Barney's Theories and Practics to hook up with women because I want to know how much freaky hook up talks a girl can stand. After fine research I came to certain points of interests:

Experiment #1:
How is the causality between me meeting a girl and hook up with her effected by wearing a suit?
Experiment set up: Of course it will not work just to count the number of successful hook ups on one evening. This number is effected by a lot of more factors like place, season, time of the day, alcohol and the mood of the girl. It's also kind of tough to get more then two girls on one night. So the successratio wouldn't show significant variations. So we need another set case. I need two examples of the women species. One I met with suit on, one I met in casual cloths. But I'm not trying do get into their pants this night. I hang around with them for two weeks. Then I met them again with different cloths then the first time. Then I try to have sex with them. We'll see which date works better. If it's easier to get the girl I met with a suit on the second date it approves my theory that suits work.

Experiment #2:
How does greate jobs affect the interest of girls?
Experiment set up: This got to happen in another town then the one I live in because there can be people who know me and enlace me in unsolveable problems. So I'll visit a friend of me in a different town and tell them really greate stuff about my work. I'll grab up the theory that architect are cool. It's easy because I can say I designed special bulding in this town. Of course I need a reference case. The same evening I talk to a different girl. I'll tell her that I study something stupid. I think a Communications Major will work. To be able to compare the results I only talk two hours to the girls.

Experiment #3:
The naked guy.
Experiment set up: This one is really tough to do. You have to get at a girls place, go to her rest room and strip naked. Then go back to her and stay naked. Because there is the posibilty that she throws you out of her place I'll better drop my cloths right next to the door so that I can grab them easiely. To have no outer parameters it's gotta be a girl I haven't met before. To not be socially baned I will not do this in my hometown.

These are the first experiments I really want to do. If there are any new Experiments that come to my mind I'll post it here. I'll also post the results right here, so look around at least every weekend.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Beachvolleyball is such a greate sport ...

... not because I like to play it, it's because a lot of beautifull girls love this sport. And beachvolleyball features on of the best rules in sport. The "Your-Panties-Have-To-Be-This-Short" rule, greate, isn't it? So watchin girls bent over in hotpants is really a greate evening activity. So you see, I'm really into sports like that, so here is my all time favorite Top-5 list of womensports:
  1. Beachvolleyball
  2. Womenhockey (short skirts and always bent over)
  3. Lingerie Football (and there is a hell of a league for this "sport")
  4. Womentennis (screaming like the girl in my bed last night)
  5. Women Gymnastics (flexible girls, I could imagine a lot to do with them)
If somebody has more interesting sports I'll extend my list. I'll close this post with pics of my top five.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Do you feel the magic this evening?

... this was the first thing a good friend asked me this evening when I came around at his flat. And can you imagine what I felt about this evening? Alright, I always try to see everything as positiv as possible, but without any alcohol I couldn't see any way to feel the magic. So I try some beer to get a touch of his "magic". And how you can imagine, it doens't helped a lot. At least it helped me not to think about this girl, lovely as she is. But I really can't feel his magic. Well, he has a greate idea to raise my mood. Find some hookers, well, not the kind you pay for, more the kind of you buy some drinks and never call back after they went with you. And before anybody askes, yes I'm this kind of a jerk, or as I call me Mr. Awesome.
So we were kind of bored by just walkin up to them and ask for names, smalltalk, bla bla bla ... I'll always wanted to try to do "The Foreigner". For all the old fashioned of you, I'll not pretend to be a Member of them. You wouldn't even believe me how often this works. When you play "The Foreigner" one of you has to be the guy out of town, and the other one has to be from a place far, far away, at best from a different country. As I am from Germany I love to pretend the other guy to be from the States. It would be a lot more interesting to pretend to be from some exotic place like India or Japan, but that's kind of tough to survive when you are really lookin like a central european and don't speak a fuckin word hindu. So my bro pretends to be from New York, Rhode Island if somebody asks, but he is to pathetic to speaks to women. So I have to talk to them first ... I think every knows what I'm talkin about. And for all of them how don't believe that this works, 5 phone numbers and a booty call 2 hours later speak their own language.
But the girl I'm lookin for was still not there. But I firmly believe I'll find her ... someday.
Why I'm so confident? To speak in the words of my bro in my mind, Barney Stinson, I'm legen ... wait for it, just one more moment ... dary . High Five!
One last word at the end. Although I grab up some thoughts of the fictional person, named Barney Stinson, all I'm telling here is the truth. Nothing more or less. And I don't think that all my stories will end like that. Maybe there will never be a happy end with that girl.
So see you next time I have nothing to do and something to tell you ...

btw: To make some thing mor simple I'll call myself Bob (maybe someone got the clue).